Sunday 3 March 2013

Art & Me: Relationship Status – It’s complicated


 

Hello there friends. It's been a while, hasn't it?

It's been just over two years since I joined deviantArt.com (www.gemmariemcc.deviantart.com), and I have to say, it was an amazing discovery. At the time I was still at art school, struggling through coursework that didn't seem to be appreciated by anyone- meaning, the tutors didn't like what I was producing, and I didn't like what I was expected to produce. DeviantArt, however, was the perfect escape. In comparison, it was a far more positive experience than art school. No matter what it was that I submitted, someone was bound to like it, and at a time when I really needed it, it was a real confidence boost.

Now, by saying this, please don't mistake me for someone who can't handle negative feedback - the truth is I love feedback and criticism as long as it's constructive. There's no point in saying "This work is beyond shit" unless you're going to follow it with "but this is how you can improve it to just shit". Luckily, I have had nothing but constructive criticism since joining, and I sometimes I actually felt as though as I was learning a lot more on the site than I did at college.

There was a time when I was submitting a piece nearly every day (sometimes two) and I managed to build up what I feel is a pretty decent gallery, but recently, I seem to have fallen out of love with art.

In the past year I've left art school without my degree, deciding that the course wasn't a right fit for me, and since I made that decision I've had absolutely no regrets. It was as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I took that to mean I had made the right choice. The only setback is that it has destroyed my confidence in my drawing, or rather more accurately, destroyed any enjoyment I used to get from drawing.

I still doodle- but I just doodle the same thing over and over again. Faces. I just love drawing faces, and although it wasn't really encouraged at my college, I really wanted to do portraiture. I don't know why it wasn't encouraged; there just seemed to be a bit of snobbery when it was discussed- "Yeah, you could go on to do portraiture…" was what I was told, "but it's not really as respected as…" and then some kind of pretentious form of fine art would be mentioned and I would just want to go vomit somewhere. Another reason I don't miss college- I couldn't cope with the vomiting anymore. (Lol! That was just a joke- but I seriously didn't like the snobbery.)

So for the past wee while, I've been taking a break from art. I still am, I suppose, as I have no plans to produce anything in the foreseeable future… or, more accurately, finish anything in the foreseeable future. Unless inspiration crops up.

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